Before I had baby I really thought I had this whole parenting thing all figured out. Seriously, like every person out there, that doesn't have kids, I thought I knew it all. I mean,
how hard could it be, right? If baby is crying, let him cry it out. Never co-sleep with an infant. Put baby on a schedule as early as possible so that I could have my day planned out. Remember I'm a planner, if plans don't go exactly how I have envisioned then I may have a slight breakdown of sorts. And I ignored everyone who told me that this would be the hardest, most exhausting period of my life. Who would
want to hear that negativity? Not me. So. I've learned a few lessons the past five weeks. Yup. I was wrong. Parenting isn't as easy as it seems and baby did not come with a manual, oh and every baby
IS different!
1. Letting Baby M 'cry it out' rarely happens. I started to think about that. Here is a baby that is only a couple days/weeks old and he starts crying. No one picks him up or acknowledges him. Now he's not crying because his diaper is wet, he is crying because he thinks that he is all alone. He doesn't understand that I am one room over and can still hear him, so now he's crying because he's scared. I can't do that to him. Don't get me wrong. If I know that he is fed, changed and that nothing could possible be hurting him, then yes I will let him cry it out to a certain extent. But I don't ignore him. I talk to him or I turn some music on for him. But I don't just leave him in his room with the door shut tightly. Even if my grandfather did tell me, multiple times, that I was spoiling Baby M by holding him so often, I don't think I am. If anything I'm teaching him that we are always here for him and according to all the books - he'll be more confident and secure because of it!
2. Co-sleeping basically happened from Day 1. As soon as we brought him home. Neither D nor I could put him in his bassinet. Yes, it was right next to our bed, but that was still too far away. It was way too cold during the night. And what if he stopped breathing? He was so little. I also had to wake up every 2-3 hours to feed him anyway, so why not have him right beside me? It was hard enough having to wake up every couple hours without having to get up out of bed and walk to the next room. Seeing how I breastfeed and how he still needs to eat 2 times through the night, I still keep him next to me. Once he's gained some more weight and he's able to sleep through the night without a feeding, then I'll transition him to his crib. But until then, I'm going to enjoy this time. He'll never be this little again or need me this much. Plus he sleeps so much better when he's near us.
3. There is nothing better than picking up a crying baby and having him calm down, sigh, and nuzzle his face into your shoulder. Nothing.
4. No matter what time of day or night it is, no matter how terribly exhausted I may be, it's all worth it when I look at his little face.
5. At week 2 I was determined to put Baby M on a feeding schedule (mostly because
EVERYONE said they had put their baby on a schedule 'right away'). And I did. He ate at 8, 11, 2, 5, 8 and then when he would wake up in the middle of the night...whenever that may be. Here's the problem with that. I'm narotic. I had to feed him exactly at those times. Not 5 minutes before, not 15 minutes after. It worked okay for a week or so, until it drove me crazy. Oh and then the time change happened. Lots of fun. So I took a deep breath. And realized that with an infant, an exact schedule might be possible, but life isn't even like that. You have to allow a certain level of flexibility. So now he eats around 7, 10, 1, 4, and 7 ( with his 2 midnight feedings). And when I say 'around', I mean as long as he eats every 2.5 to 3 hours, then he's good. I still try to keep it around those times, but if it doesn't happen, then it doesn't happen. I'm learning to be flexible! Which is probably a lot better than having a baby on a strict schedule anyway! And his naps are slowly starting to take a routine of it's own also, so we'll be just fine. May not be down to the precise hour, but that's ok.
6. I can't do it all. Tough lesson to learn. Laundry is piling up, house is a mess, there's no food in the house but so be it (I guess). Especially when the Dr. told me yesterday that I still need to 'sleep when baby sleeps' and let my body heal. blah blah blah. I'm trying.
7. Which brings me to my next lesson. Accept help when it's offered. I couldn't do all this without my family. Really. If my parents and my aunt weren't around to give me breaks, help change diapers and just hold Baby M. I'd have a complete meltdown. I've had my share of breakdowns....but they would have been a lot worse.
8. Diapers and onesies. You can never have enough of these. I used to think "how many onesies does a newborn need anyway?" Well it's possible to go through three diapers and two outfits in a matter of 40 minutes.
9. Even though Baby M is only five weeks old, he already has the ability to make me smile, cry and laugh. It's all in his little facial expressions and sounds. And he already has his grandparents wrapped around his finger.
10. I can take the same picture of him over and over again, and send it to everyone I know each time.
He's that cute.
11. That it's possible to question and second guess myself multiple times over what I used to think would be simple decisions. As a new mom I also feel judged for each decision I make. But I'm learning that I need to do what is right for us. May not be the same decision as everyone else, but that's ok.
12. All babies are not the same. I've asked and will probably continue to ask my friends if their baby did 'this', or if they did 'that'. But now I realize that every friend has a different answer. Each baby is unique. End of story. There will never be an Instruction Manual for babies, even though I really wish there were.
13. I never thought I'd give Baby M a pacifier. Never. Mom said that we didn't ever need one. And for some reason, I think I saw them as a sign as lazy parenting. Or weakness. Nope.
Wrong again. Some babies just like to suckle.
14. I can be peed on and spit up on, multiple times a days. But I don't think it's gross and I never get mad. It's not his fault. And have I mentioned how cute he is?
