For the Troops Part 2

Christmas candy, chocolate, protien bars, beef jerkey & trail mix and burned copies of recent movies on DVD's.

Travel sized Bibles with a handwritten note in each and every one of them.

A handwritten letter to each soldier from Wiley's class.

Acts of LOVE

Stockings stuffed and ready for shipping!! Hoping these will bring a smile to the soldiers this Christmas.

Our next shipment will be a little something for Valentine's Day. 

Ahha Moment...

I was going through Photography blogs
trying to soak up as much info as possible
When I came across something that made me cry...
(I cant for the life of me find the blog again boo on me...)
The title was "I AM BEAUTIFUL"
She said that most likely you are the main picture taker in your family
(totally me)
and you always tell people that you don't want your picture taken
because you feel fat/ugly/in your PJs at 2 pm
(SOOOOO me my coined phrase "I am the one behind the camera not in front of it...")
Then she asked when your kids are looking back at photos of their life
WHERE ARE YOU??
and I cried
Why? I'm in MAYBE 50 pictures with babygirl
because I feel fat/ugly/in my pjs
Is she going to be sad that she cant see what I looked like?
She isn't going to think I'm fat, or I'm ugly or even care that I'm in my pj's at 2pm
I am going to be sad that I didn't take pictures of "us girls"
When we are cuddling on the couch... all day... in our Pjs watching Gnomeo and Juilet
I havent gotten a picture of our wild hair in the mornings
(because our hair gets CRAZY when we sleep)
I haven't taken our picture when we are having our daily dance party
I look at babygirl and I see that shes SO BIG
and soon she's not going to want me in the pictures...
I need to fix this...
I am going to change my attitude about ME
I AM BEAUTIFUL
and I need to remember that and step IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA

Be ready friends and family for me to hand my camera over
and ask for a picture with you and I :)

Finding my style - headband

Recently I have been trying to figure out what I like

I never really had a style per say 

and I am slowly figuring out what I like

It's actually a lot harder that you would think 

Anyways... 

I love headbands 

but I am to chicken to wear them.

Stupid right?

Well, I have been trying to branch out more 

and I bought 2 headbands from {JustLovelyThings}

 they are BEAUTIFUL

and I actually wore it tonight and felt 

Beautiful as well :) 

{Headband - {Justlovelythings}

{Bracelet - Six Designs}

So my friends... What have you done outside of your comfort zone?

When to have #2?

Mr. N and I have been talking about #2
you see we said all along that we would start trying around Babygirls 2nd birthday...
Well thats next month HA
SO its like NOW
I'm ready... Kinda upset that I didn't lose as much weight as I wanted to.
but I don't know if Baby girl is...
She's pretty good at sharing things...
her cousins K1-K6 are around a lot
and she does great with them.
(one major reason is they are amazing with her)
but when she's in a bigger group she tends to go hang out by herself
which is pretty common for an only child right?
But shes not so good at sharing me.
I went to drop off some pictures to a client
and I was playing with their incredibly adorable lil boy
Baby girl was a little unsure and wanted me to pick her up
I told her no and continued playing with him
She was fine but it got me thinking.
What is she going to be like with a baby
Shes a little mommy for sure
whenever she sees or hears a baby she wants to go see
We ask her if she wants a baby but shes just a little to young to understand what we mean.
So I guess friends when do you think is a good time? what are your kids ages?
and in a PERFECT world what would be the age difference of your kiddos?

Oh look how little she was!!!
I think my uterus just started aching LOL

For the troops

I LOVE MY FAMILY.  I'm not just talking about my immediate family but my entire crazy lovable extended family.  We are always there for each other, always supportive, and truthfully my cousins are more like my brothers and sisters.  I really think that when it comes down to it we are each others best friends. 

We have a cousin that was deployed to Afghanistan 5 months ago.  I had been meaning to send her a care package for months.  It's a sorry excuse, but life kept getting in the way or we just didn't have any extra money.  Well, I felt TERRIBLE when she surprised me with a flower delivery when I came down with the flu two months ago.  How sweet is that? She's all the way around the world, in a war zone, and she's sending ME flowers???  That got my butt in gear!  My parents and I put together a box of shampoo, snacks, lotion and Halloween trick or treat bags.  We were able to stuff 5 extra trick or treat bags in there so that she could give it to a few of her friends. 

The trick or treat bags got us thinking.  Wouldn't it be awesome to send her and her fellow troops a care package for Christmas too?  Luckily she is based at an Airfield and has a "desk job" at the Stability Operations Office.  This office serves as a liaison between the military and civilian operations.  I emailed her and asked her how many troops she works with and their names.  I also sent out an email to family here in the states to see if they would also like to contribute to this project.  The response was overwhelming!

A cousin in Colorado sent a check to help with shipping.  An aunt and uncle bought 33 bibles.  My parents went to Costco for snacks.  My brother is making 33 DVD's of Christmas movies. A cousin in Arizona is also sending a check.  Another aunt is going to Costco for stocking stuffers....I could go on and on.  And yes, as you just read we are sending them Christmas stockings!

I bought stockings the other night and wrote their names on it.  We are all getting together for our "Thanksgiving before Thanksgiving" dinner in two weeks (Thanksgiving is split between CA & AZ so it's really 2 days for our family).  After dinner we will stuff the stockings as a family.

Like I said I LOVE MY FAMILY!

If you're interested in sending the troops a care package this Christmas and don't know where to start here are a few links:

https://www.uso.org/Donate_OUCP_Search/?src=W107OUCP04

http://ustroopcarepackage.com/

http://www.give2thetroops.org/

Hurtful words..

Still trying to stay afloat and be postive.

It's been really hard lately. 

Peoples words keep swirling in my head. 

Ya know those words some people say... 

That make scratch when they say it...

and as time goes on..

it grows in to a gaping sore 

No matter how much you think its not true.. 

It's still only in the back of your head..

You see, I'm a photographer. 

I have loved Photography since I was little

I remember my parents giving me their old canon. 

no auto focus.. 

no zoom..

I LOVED that thing...

I wanted to go to school for it..

but decided a more stable major would be best...

Now I have the support of my amazing husband I started 

Simple Love Photography

I'm not trying to get rich

I'm not saying I'm amazing. 

But I try my hardest..

I work my butt off...

I love what I do.... 

But there's this one comment from someone...

a friend

that I cant get out of my head.

She said that my pictures look

"Like anyone can do them" 

I don't know why it bothers me so much..

But I cant get it out of my head....

I keep going back and forth... 

am I really not good?

Do my pictures really look like anyone can do it

I'm all for constructive criticism but is that really constructive and am I being overly sensitive??

I hate that my posts lately have been so negative... 

I'm sorry... I kinda feel like this is my only outlet....

One of THOSE days....

It's been one of THOSE days today. 

Babygirl, for some really odd reason, decided NO nap... 

She has NEVER done this in her entire life...

on top of it..

She has a runny nose

and only wants me to hold her...

I, on the other hand, am EXHAUSTED

I have been trying to stay active.. 

Running and such 

since I'm not on medication for my thyroid 

and I think my body might be a bit upset with me

I have lost my patience a few times

and locked myself in the bathroom a few times

(any other moms out there do that????) 

I have been trying to get stuff for her birthday party

and 2 photo shoots this weekend

I wish I had a girlfriend out this way

that had a baby that we can stick in a room to play

and drink a cup of coffee (or vodka tonic whateves lol) 

 I shouldn't complain

This is the first frustrating day with Baby girl ever

She's normally sooo good

I think its more my fault today than hers..

IS IT BED TIME YET??????

Let the Craziness Begin!!!

Now that Halloween is over....

the holidays are HERE!! YAAAAY

Usually my AMAZING older sister takes on the Holidays

She always had the bigger house

and she knows how to do these things...

Well this year, they had to move to a small condo while they look for a house to buy...

Which leaves me having the only house big enough to fit everyone...

So this year I am hosting the following.... 

Thanksgiving

Our Cousins Annual Christmas party 

babygirls 2nd birthday party

AND 

Christmas x2

(once on Christmas Day for Mr. N's family and the following weekend for mine)

I'm a little worried that I will either completely lose my hair

or sleep up until January 1st (unlike most people when I get stressed I sleep LOL) 

and through all of this I have photo shoots almost EVERY weekend!

Even thought it should be COMPLETELY insane

I am sooo excited! 

I love having people over

I have an amazing family! 

And Babygirl is at that age where shes going to have fun! 

LOVE this time of year!!!!

Are you hosting any of the Holidays?? Any tips for a newbie :) 

(Christmas Last year... babygirl was so little!!)

The Little Green Monster..

So recently I have been kinda down.
I know its related to my Hypothyroidism
I'm off the medication right now,
and getting tested to get back on it...
Which means I have gained weight despite my best efforts..
(8 lbs to be exact)
and its really taking its toll on me.
I don't have energy to run but I started running again last night
my skin is so dry its painful (and I put lotion on multiple times a day!)
I'm an emotional wreck lol
just to name a few things..
so because I'm feeling bad all around
I (assuming most people do this) start comparing my life to others.
To the single girls that doesnt work but somehow gets everything she wants
To the other families that buys a new car whenever they get bored of the current one
Or the families that go out to eat EVERY NIGHT...
The mommies that seem like they are doing better than me raising their babes..
(and of course I'm reading all this on Facebook LOL)
The couples that look like life is PERFECT 
Then it kinda hit me last night...
Everyone only puts the good on Facebook (heck I do too!)
and I know that, that girl that gets everything is also really lonely
and the families that buys the cars and eat out everynight, both parents work
leaving someone else to raise their child...
the mommies that seem like they are doing better... they have their off days too..
and the couples... we all know that perfect couples don't exist.
So why do I compare?
I have an AMAZING relationship with Mr. N... we really don't ever fight. We have our issues yes but we talk instead of blowing up at each other (more Mr. N's doing than mine lmao)
Mr. N has an awesome job that lets me stay at home with baby girl.
I do a lot with baby girl too. I think I am doing the best job I can possibly do
We laugh, we play, we snuggle, we learn new things. I try my hardest to be the best momma possible.
We might not have the extra cash to go out to eat every night, or to buy the newest car 
I have a pretty AMAZING life... So go away green monster... I'm not going to COMPARE my life to anyone else's anymore. "Comparison is the thief of Joy" - Anonymous.. I need to remember that..

Inspiration

Do you have someone that you {secretly} admire?

I have quite a list of people I totally DON'T know
but I stalk through Facebook and Blogger.
I'm coming out and telling you all
about my stalker-ness of two amazing people

First and for most (and the reason behind this post)
my Photography Inspiration.
Let me tell you a little back story,
My amazing friend Kathryn, who is GORGEOUS,
does a little modeling on the side
and she met this Photographer Trevor Dayley
Then she showed me his Facebook Page......
AND I'M OBSESSED WITH HIS WORK!!!
Then Kathryn told me he's one of the nicest guys out there
and I admit, I'm ONE of probably A MILLION Stalkers!
And today HE TOOK MY PICTURE!
Yes I got to meet him and he took a few photos of me
(actually my hair, I was a hair model for a friends business)
Did I tell him I was his stalker ::No::
Did I want to ::YES::
Did I get creepy shy like I always do ::THAT'S A BIG FAT YES::
Why am I such a weirdo! LOL
Go take a look at his photos... BREATHTAKING!

Now my blog Inspiration is
Little Miss Momma
She is so awesome. Plain and simple
I love her style, I love her Etsy Store,
I love her mommy stories (because it reminds me of Baby Girl and myself)
I love how she tells the TRUTH about her life.
I commented on a post (from a previous blog)
and SHE COMMENTED BACK
I seriously was so touched that she took the time and commented on my Blog.
Have I been stalking her pages (Blog, FB, Etsy) ::Yes::
If I still lived in Simi Valley would I "accidently" run into her ::I would make sure of it!::
Have I sent her an email telling her I LOVE her blog ::sadly no I'm a scare-dy cat!:
Will I be buying the "NEST" Pillow ::You bet your sweet little tushy!::

Now, I bet your wondering if there's more. Oh yes, there is.
(But I'm to embarrassed to tell you my WHOLE list)
I think my name should be Stalker Sharleanna.
Well, I am now going to let BOTH of them know that I am a stalker
(I hope they don't put a restraining order or permanently block me)

Who inspires you???

PS Like us on Facebook friends! PLEASE!! Click here!
Thanks bunches!

New Mommy Lessons

Before I had baby I really thought I had this whole parenting thing all figured out. Seriously, like every person out there, that doesn't have kids, I thought I knew it all. I mean, how hard could it be, right? If baby is crying, let him cry it out. Never co-sleep with an infant. Put baby on a schedule as early as possible so that I could have my day planned out. Remember I'm a planner, if plans don't go exactly how I have envisioned then I may have a slight breakdown of sorts. And I ignored everyone who told me that this would be the hardest, most exhausting period of my life. Who would want to hear that negativity? Not me. So. I've learned a few lessons the past five weeks. Yup. I was wrong. Parenting isn't as easy as it seems and baby did not come with a manual, oh and every baby IS different!

1. Letting Baby M 'cry it out' rarely happens. I started to think about that. Here is a baby that is only a couple days/weeks old and he starts crying. No one picks him up or acknowledges him. Now he's not crying because his diaper is wet, he is crying because he thinks that he is all alone. He doesn't understand that I am one room over and can still hear him, so now he's crying because he's scared. I can't do that to him. Don't get me wrong. If I know that he is fed, changed and that nothing could possible be hurting him, then yes I will let him cry it out to a certain extent. But I don't ignore him. I talk to him or I turn some music on for him. But I don't just leave him in his room with the door shut tightly. Even if my grandfather did tell me, multiple times, that I was spoiling Baby M by holding him so often, I don't think I am. If anything I'm teaching him that we are always here for him and according to all the books - he'll be more confident and secure because of it!

2. Co-sleeping basically happened from Day 1. As soon as we brought him home. Neither D nor I could put him in his bassinet. Yes, it was right next to our bed, but that was still too far away. It was way too cold during the night. And what if he stopped breathing? He was so little. I also had to wake up every 2-3 hours to feed him anyway, so why not have him right beside me? It was hard enough having to wake up every couple hours without having to get up out of bed and walk to the next room. Seeing how I breastfeed and how he still needs to eat 2 times through the night, I still keep him next to me. Once he's gained some more weight and he's able to sleep through the night without a feeding, then I'll transition him to his crib. But until then, I'm going to enjoy this time. He'll never be this little again or need me this much. Plus he sleeps so much better when he's near us.

3. There is nothing better than picking up a crying baby and having him calm down, sigh, and nuzzle his face into your shoulder. Nothing.

4. No matter what time of day or night it is, no matter how terribly exhausted I may be, it's all worth it when I look at his little face.

5. At week 2 I was determined to put Baby M on a feeding schedule (mostly because EVERYONE said they had put their baby on a schedule 'right away'). And I did. He ate at 8, 11, 2, 5, 8 and then when he would wake up in the middle of the night...whenever that may be. Here's the problem with that. I'm narotic. I had to feed him exactly at those times. Not 5 minutes before, not 15 minutes after. It worked okay for a week or so, until it drove me crazy. Oh and then the time change happened. Lots of fun. So I took a deep breath. And realized that with an infant, an exact schedule might be possible, but life isn't even like that. You have to allow a certain level of flexibility. So now he eats around 7, 10, 1, 4, and 7 ( with his 2 midnight feedings). And when I say 'around', I mean as long as he eats every 2.5 to 3 hours, then he's good. I still try to keep it around those times, but if it doesn't happen, then it doesn't happen. I'm learning to be flexible! Which is probably a lot better than having a baby on a strict schedule anyway! And his naps are slowly starting to take a routine of it's own also, so we'll be just fine. May not be down to the precise hour, but that's ok.

6. I can't do it all. Tough lesson to learn. Laundry is piling up, house is a mess, there's no food in the house but so be it (I guess). Especially when the Dr. told me yesterday that I still need to 'sleep when baby sleeps' and let my body heal. blah blah blah. I'm trying.

7. Which brings me to my next lesson. Accept help when it's offered. I couldn't do all this without my family. Really. If my parents and my aunt weren't around to give me breaks, help change diapers and just hold Baby M. I'd have a complete meltdown. I've had my share of breakdowns....but they would have been a lot worse.

8. Diapers and onesies. You can never have enough of these. I used to think "how many onesies does a newborn need anyway?" Well it's possible to go through three diapers and two outfits in a matter of 40 minutes.

9. Even though Baby M is only five weeks old, he already has the ability to make me smile, cry and laugh. It's all in his little facial expressions and sounds. And he already has his grandparents wrapped around his finger.

10. I can take the same picture of him over and over again, and send it to everyone I know each time. He's that cute.

11. That it's possible to question and second guess myself multiple times over what I used to think would be simple decisions. As a new mom I also feel judged for each decision I make. But I'm learning that I need to do what is right for us. May not be the same decision as everyone else, but that's ok.

12. All babies are not the same. I've asked and will probably continue to ask my friends if their baby did 'this', or if they did 'that'. But now I realize that every friend has a different answer. Each baby is unique. End of story. There will never be an Instruction Manual for babies, even though I really wish there were.

13. I never thought I'd give Baby M a pacifier. Never. Mom said that we didn't ever need one. And for some reason, I think I saw them as a sign as lazy parenting. Or weakness. Nope. Wrong again. Some babies just like to suckle.

14. I can be peed on and spit up on, multiple times a days. But I don't think it's gross and I never get mad. It's not his fault. And have I mentioned how cute he is?

Biggest lesson? That there is absolutely NOTHING or NO ONE that can prepare you for the marathon of mommyhood. And I don't regret it for one second. I do wish for more sleep, but I don't regret it!