Ahha Moment...

I was going through Photography blogs
trying to soak up as much info as possible
When I came across something that made me cry...
(I cant for the life of me find the blog again boo on me...)
The title was "I AM BEAUTIFUL"
She said that most likely you are the main picture taker in your family
(totally me)
and you always tell people that you don't want your picture taken
because you feel fat/ugly/in your PJs at 2 pm
(SOOOOO me my coined phrase "I am the one behind the camera not in front of it...")
Then she asked when your kids are looking back at photos of their life
WHERE ARE YOU??
and I cried
Why? I'm in MAYBE 50 pictures with babygirl
because I feel fat/ugly/in my pjs
Is she going to be sad that she cant see what I looked like?
She isn't going to think I'm fat, or I'm ugly or even care that I'm in my pj's at 2pm
I am going to be sad that I didn't take pictures of "us girls"
When we are cuddling on the couch... all day... in our Pjs watching Gnomeo and Juilet
I havent gotten a picture of our wild hair in the mornings
(because our hair gets CRAZY when we sleep)
I haven't taken our picture when we are having our daily dance party
I look at babygirl and I see that shes SO BIG
and soon she's not going to want me in the pictures...
I need to fix this...
I am going to change my attitude about ME
I AM BEAUTIFUL
and I need to remember that and step IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA

Be ready friends and family for me to hand my camera over
and ask for a picture with you and I :)

Hurtful words..

Still trying to stay afloat and be postive.

It's been really hard lately. 

Peoples words keep swirling in my head. 

Ya know those words some people say... 

That make scratch when they say it...

and as time goes on..

it grows in to a gaping sore 

No matter how much you think its not true.. 

It's still only in the back of your head..

You see, I'm a photographer. 

I have loved Photography since I was little

I remember my parents giving me their old canon. 

no auto focus.. 

no zoom..

I LOVED that thing...

I wanted to go to school for it..

but decided a more stable major would be best...

Now I have the support of my amazing husband I started 

Simple Love Photography

I'm not trying to get rich

I'm not saying I'm amazing. 

But I try my hardest..

I work my butt off...

I love what I do.... 

But there's this one comment from someone...

a friend

that I cant get out of my head.

She said that my pictures look

"Like anyone can do them" 

I don't know why it bothers me so much..

But I cant get it out of my head....

I keep going back and forth... 

am I really not good?

Do my pictures really look like anyone can do it

I'm all for constructive criticism but is that really constructive and am I being overly sensitive??

I hate that my posts lately have been so negative... 

I'm sorry... I kinda feel like this is my only outlet....