Just keep running....

Started the couch to 5k again. 

But this time I'm picking up the pace. 

The Nike app says my on my runs 

my pace is between 7.30 min mile and 9.30 min mile. 

which is a lot faster 

But its still hard. 

I stopped running all summer. 

Thanks AZ

and I gained weight

bleh... 

Now I feel like I'm back to square one. 

Honestly thanks to Pinterest

I found a ton of inspiration

like this beauty 

{Via Here}
and I realize that this post is so jumbled..
my head is kinda jumbled at the moment..
I'm sorry it's so random ha   

The Little Green Monster..

So recently I have been kinda down.
I know its related to my Hypothyroidism
I'm off the medication right now,
and getting tested to get back on it...
Which means I have gained weight despite my best efforts..
(8 lbs to be exact)
and its really taking its toll on me.
I don't have energy to run but I started running again last night
my skin is so dry its painful (and I put lotion on multiple times a day!)
I'm an emotional wreck lol
just to name a few things..
so because I'm feeling bad all around
I (assuming most people do this) start comparing my life to others.
To the single girls that doesnt work but somehow gets everything she wants
To the other families that buys a new car whenever they get bored of the current one
Or the families that go out to eat EVERY NIGHT...
The mommies that seem like they are doing better than me raising their babes..
(and of course I'm reading all this on Facebook LOL)
The couples that look like life is PERFECT 
Then it kinda hit me last night...
Everyone only puts the good on Facebook (heck I do too!)
and I know that, that girl that gets everything is also really lonely
and the families that buys the cars and eat out everynight, both parents work
leaving someone else to raise their child...
the mommies that seem like they are doing better... they have their off days too..
and the couples... we all know that perfect couples don't exist.
So why do I compare?
I have an AMAZING relationship with Mr. N... we really don't ever fight. We have our issues yes but we talk instead of blowing up at each other (more Mr. N's doing than mine lmao)
Mr. N has an awesome job that lets me stay at home with baby girl.
I do a lot with baby girl too. I think I am doing the best job I can possibly do
We laugh, we play, we snuggle, we learn new things. I try my hardest to be the best momma possible.
We might not have the extra cash to go out to eat every night, or to buy the newest car 
I have a pretty AMAZING life... So go away green monster... I'm not going to COMPARE my life to anyone else's anymore. "Comparison is the thief of Joy" - Anonymous.. I need to remember that..

Simi Hike to the cross

One of my really good friends is moving to Washington in a few weeks.
She lives in Simi (my old hometown)
so recently I went back to say good luck.
(not a goodbye but a see ya soon)
While I was there we decided to do a local hike up to the cross
I lived there for 18 years and I never did this hike before.
The hike up was really hard.
Apparently we took the hard trail HA kicked my butt!!
Half way up
When we got to the top we were speechless... the sight was breathtaking... emotions definitely ran high... We cried We Prayed and We sat in Silence... One of the best mornings I have ever had...(be prepared for a picture over load)

Exercise routine

So Mr.J and I have been talking
about #2! YAY
However, I dont want to get pregnant at this weight
(I have lost half of what I wanted read about that here)
Since hurting my neck, I gained a few (5lbs)
Grrr.....
Now I have 25 lbs that I want to lose til we get prego again
and we want to get pregnant in or around September.
so thats about 11 lbs a month
THATS REALLLLLY HARD!
Not only that but with it being 10,000000 degrees in Arizona
its really really hard to run :(
So gym/swimming and MAJOR dieting is whats going to have to do it.
Not only are we renting a room
Mr. J is still in training for his New PD job
(which is totally awesome!)
but his schedule isn't set, therefore I have no set schedule
it doesn't help with my OCD planning issues
So heres what I'm hoping my routine will be
Monday AM Run If I have time gym that afternoon
Tuesday TBC class at 4:30
Wednesday AM swim If I have time Gym that afternoon
Thursday AM Run
Friday Gym
Saturday 830 am Muscle class at the gym
Sunday Break

I'm also going to be eating around 1380 calories a day (according to myfitnesspal app)

This is the size I would like to get back to
::Sigh:: I will get there one day, I will... 25 down 25 to go... I can do this...
Who's with me!?!

My worst nightmare

So this is a post that I DIDNT want to write, Why? Because
I'm humiliated
I'm mortified
I'm ashamed
I'm scared
of what...
my weight...
Before I got pregnant I had gained a few (and by a few I mean WAY TO MUCH) Since high school (almost 50 lbs) I was working out and being active but being comfortable in a relationship, (okay and maybe drinking and partying a little too much and being on the pill) Well, I'm sure you know how easy it is to
Lose control of your weight. I had lost control of my weight and BAD
THEN
I got Pregnant. I dont know my exact weight but Im guessing I broke 200 right around the time we conceived
(I want to cry just thinking about that)
(That's my awesome parents and I was wearing high heels in not that tall!Im only 5'6)
but do you see how big I was !!???!!!! UGH By the time I went in to the hospital I was 242lbs DO YOU REALIZE HOW BIG THAT IS!!??!
UUUUUUGH.... Then I had Baby girl... and granted I lost a lot of it... But I was still at 215lbs and a size 18, being over 200lbs was killing me. I was the athlete the one in shape that had a great athletic body and I felt like a flabby mess. I went to the Drs and was prescribed Phentermine. I lost 15lbs (so 200lbs) but it stopped working and then I was diagnosed with Hypothyroidism which meant losing weight was difficult (felt like it was impossible)
But I didn't want to give up, I knew I could be happy with my body, I KNEW I needed to work out... BUT HOW?
Then I found my life saver
Running....
Now I know so many of you are going to say "I cant run" "I hate running" and that was SOOOOOO me but I found Couch to 5K
It has CHANGED my life...
I finished my first 4.2 Mile Race on April 16,2011 with My Dad Brother and Husband (and a friend)
I was hard, I cried many times. But I stuck with it... I lost 20 lbs in 9 weeks and I am in a size 13 again! Now I weigh less than I did when I got Pregnant!! I still have 20 lbs I want to lose (30 actually but Im setting my goal at 20 for now)
(Im in the Yellow shirt and that's my gorgeous and motivational friend Kathryn!)
So there I did it.. I shared my worst nightmare... I'm scared to death of what people will say I'm scared of Anonymous comments because I have read some really mean ones... but I want to be honest, I want to maybe help someone. And truthfully I wouldn't mind someone saying "Hey Im in the same boat! Lets be friends and we can help each other!!"

How did you lost weight or overcome your worst nightmare?